Now I know why computer nerds are notorious for staying up late. Once you get going on a project the time kind of slips by on you. That and I spent a good hour attempting to enter the vacant house across the street, but I wont go any more into my hoodlum lifestyle. After assisting Derek with his new website (can I link it yet, can I can I?) yesterday and this morning I started to undertake the daunting project of cleaning my own code -- a highly modified Worldpress theme, code for plugins, some of which are no longer in the system, and various other things I've thrown in, altered and changed. Its like making a soup from all the leftovers of Thanksgiving dinner from the turkey to the pumpkin pie. I did some rearranging, like moving my Google Calendar to its own page and shrinking down the width of the blog. The latter was important to me as on large monitors the lines were getting very long.
As I am learning LaTeX I read that the optimal line length for reading is about 66 characters. Go open any book and count the number of characters in a line and it will average out to 66. Anything longer will become awkward for a person to read. Right now the design is optimized for a 1024x768 screen resolution at 83 characters line length, longer than optimal but still less then the average word document length of 100ish. As a result I lost the floating effect from resizing the screen or browser window. I may work at this later if anyone reports issues with a small browser window.
The code itself is much cleaner and I haven't even finished removing all the unused elements from the CSS. If I were to guess I had cut about a third of the line count in the code. I also worked on validating the HTML. Currently there are 4 errors. That is a major improvement over the 50+ that existed this morning. Anyways, its late, I'm tired, and I know Derek is going to say what a bad boy I am for staying up so late!
I normally drive a 1990 Toyota Corolla. I love that little car. Anyways, today I ran to Safeway to pick up groceries (today I am going to be the woman in my relationship, I'm making dinner!) and took Derek's Jeep Cherokee. The difference between the two is like the difference between riding an elegant race horse and riding a pregnant hippopotamus.
Or more specifically, he substituted for a teacher at the juvenile equivalent of a maximum security prison. His account was told Monday during dinner. These were the kids accused of one on one violent crimes. Assault. Rape. Murder. He needed to show his ID at three different checkpoints. Each with a chamber that required the solid metal exit door to shut and lock before the next door unlocked and opened. Inside were kids who were waiting for their trials, waiting for their sentence, waiting to be released this Friday, and waiting for their sentence to end in 2015. But while they are there they still need to go to school.
Dad taught math and science to surprisingly well behaved students. It wasn't until Dad was leaving when he spotted the camera in his room. It struck him as odd as one of these students looked and acted alot like Will did in high school and sometimes forgot that he was there for horrendous crimes. During dinner Dad commented that he couldn't imagine (and that is a big deal as Dad's imagination surpasses my own) the kind of environment and lives these kids were in where the choices they made were even available options. Even worse is that there are people who worked there long enough where these now grown kids come back to visit their own criminal children. Viscous, viscous circles.
Mom asked if he would consider going back. He said in a heart beat.
Derek has a nail biting and picking habit which just drives me up the wall (if this is my only real complaint about him then I think we are doing damn good!). Saturday night at a high school marching band competition I presented this offer: If he can stop biting his nails, letting his finger nails grow out, and keep it that way, I will pay his subscription to World of Warcraft for a year.
I think I am going to be a very broke boyfriend.
The Political Compass website has provided some enlightening experience over the past few years. I've searched my past entries on here an, although I remember writing about it before, I can't find the entries. Regardless, the website proposes a new perspective on political alignment from the left-right continuum. It keeps the left-right axis to measure economic alignment, but separates social orientation, authoritarian to libertarian, on the y axis. This is by far a much more accurate way to map political orientation. Several years ago, either before or at the start of the Bush administration I held a somewhat extremist point around -7,-7, meaning I was a left libertarian hanging around with the likes of Gandhi. During the 2004 election is pressed on out to around -7.5,-7.5. And now, with the 2006 elections around I decided to take the test again.
Two special things happeed today. The first has been going onfor a few years now. Look back if you care to knowwhat it is, butit is no longer important in my life. It is the other thing that is far more special to me. Derek and I have been offically together for 6 months,and I am inlove with him even more than they day I kissed him. This is new, this is special. I am happy. I am still in love. This may be it...
Once again, Cecilia, I love you. I should note that it seems that hipsters and Emo are infact the same thing, so where you see Hipster you can replace with Emo.
Do You Have Hipsters?
by Eric Feezell
Youve seen the warning signs, you can tell somethings not quite right, so nows the time to do something about it. A step-by-step guide on how to rid yourself of a hipster infestation.
Have you recently found yourself asking any of the following questions?
Whose fixed-gear bicycle is that in my garage?
Where do I keep misplacing the charger for my iPod Nano?
Why are there vast amounts of food mysteriously not missing from my pantry and refrigerator each week?
Yes? Then, chances are, youve got hipsters.
Hipster infestations have become commonplace in modern times. One day, life seems completely normal. The next, youve got an anorexic in a train-conductor hat scurrying across your kitchen in the middle of dinner. This, understandably, can be a pretty disconcerting sight.
Not to worry, though. While hipsters can really slaughter a nice mood, they are otherwise harmless and probably just as frightened of you as you are of them. Still, they are a nuisance, of course, and need to be treated as such. Following are suggested measures to pinpoint the location of hipsters in your home, coax them out from their hiding places, and capture and return them to their natural habitats.
Zeroing in on Your Hipsters
An effective way to start your search is by identifying all the nooks and crannies wherein hipsters may hide. Most commonly these include the crack between the wall and the fridge, underneath French baguettes, behind their iPod Nanos, and between the pages of Charles Bukowski books. These are all great places to begin looking. (Note: If you are feeling brave, demand that someone justify Bukowskis literary merit. Frequently this will prompt the hipsters to emerge, incredulous, indignant, and sometimes crying.)
Also, hipsters prefer dank, dimly lit areas, should you have any in your abode. These provide ideal quarters for them to set up makeshift darkrooms in which they can develop the countless photographs theyve taken with their vintage cameras. Usually, these are pictures of idled trains, abandoned bus depots, or of themselves (for their MySpace profiles).
Finally, keep a sharp eye on dressers and closets. Hipsters love tight clothing, usually on the darker, more weathered side. Have any pairs of your 14-year-old daughters jeans suddenly gone missing? What about her nail polish kit?
For many, this suggestion sparks additional fears: If hipsters are ransacking my daughters closet, how do I know they wont cause her any undue additional (i.e., sexual) harm? Parents should rest easier knowing that most hipsters are either asexual or bi-curious. That being said, it would be a good idea to keep an eye on your son, too.
Capturing Your Hipsters
Youve located where your hipsters are camped outnow comes the hard part.
Hipsters are freakishly antisocial; some argue it is genetic. This trait becomes especially magnified in unfamiliar or non-hip environments. So, the last thing you want to do is alienate hipsters further from society than theyve already alienated themselves. Here are a few things you must understand before attempting to communicate with hipsters:
1. Hipsters know more about music than you do.
2. Hipsters know more about clothing than you do.
3. Hipsters know more about Charles Bukowski than you do.
4. Your sense of fashion is fin (bad).
Embracing these ideas as fact will not put you on the same level as hipstersthat would be ridiculousbut it will let the hipster know that you are keeping it real, which they can respect, sort of.
With that, youll want to open the dialogue on a fairly benign topic so as not to indicate that you mean the hipsters harm, or that you are in fact a poseur. Here are some suggestions:
That deck [good] Conor Oberst is signing autographs at Amoeba Records today.
Check out my new tattoo! (Or new fixed-gear bike.)
Anyone for a really small slice of vegan soy pizza?
Maybe theyre sitting in your living room brooding, or writing in a journal, or looking uncomfortable and ostracized. Hipsters have usually attended a liberal-arts college for at least two years, howeverand are thus extremely smartand often wont take the verbal bait. In this situation, you must be cruel to be kind and exploit the hipsters Achilles heel: music.
There are two approaches to smoking them out musically:
1. Play non-hip music, and play it very loudly. Remember, hipsters all have iPod Nanos, so its going to have to be extremely ear-shattering to overpower the sonic armor of Death Cab for Cutie. Recommended selections include anything by Kenny Rogers or Green Day, or Radioheads Hail to the Thief (hipsters generally agree that this is when Radiohead sold out). Really, any popular, major-label artist will do the trick.
2. Play music they enjoy, such as Clap Your Hands, Say Yeah!, the National, or Monorchid. These recordings may prove a bit harder to find, however, so theres always the the band theory: the Strokes, the Faint, the Hives, the Killers, the Vines, the Bravery, et al. are usually considered deck by hipsters, despite their popular major-label status. (Note: the The, however, will NOT work using approach number two. See approach number one.)
When it comes to The bands, you might ask: Well, which one? Dont hipsters like one better than the others? Trust us when we tell you that it isnt going to make the slightest difference.
Returning Your Hipsters to Their Natural Environment
Hopefully by now, youve got the hipsters out in the open. Maybe theyre sitting in your living room brooding, or writing in a journal, or looking uncomfortable and ostracized. This is totally normal, and means youve done everything by the book thus far.
Yet at this stage you will likely encounter the following critical conundrum: When removing hipsters from your home, your paternal instinct may kick in at the sight of their waif-like appearances, and you will feel obligated to nourish them. Do not attempt to do this.
In the first place, it is highly unlikely you have hipster food. Kraft macaroni and cheese or microwaveable Bagel Bites will only make them angry. (Though it completely defies logic, hipsters also know more about food than you do.) Hamburger Helper is a grave insult to hipsters and will undoubtedly evoke a derisive response along such lines as, Do you have any idea whats in that stuff?!? Obviously, no, you do not.
Moreover, it should be noted that hipsters eating cycles differ greatly from those of non-hipsters. As an example: What are the chances of you uncovering your hipster infestation on, say, the third Wednesday (or designated feeding day) of that particular month, and of having enough organic soy-based products in your fridge to feed them all? Admittedly, it would not require much. But, you have to agree, the odds are pretty slim.
The best thing for them, and for you, is to simply return hipsters to the habitat from which they came. And dont think you can just pile into the SUV and drive them therethey will spurn you for your wanton consumerism. Get that archaic road bike out from the garagetheyll probably buy it from you when all is said and doneand cruise them around the local arts district to coffee shops and record stores until they are all given low-paying jobs based solely on their stylish appearances and morose demeanors. Hipsters are much happier when they are poor (although youd never know this by looking at them).
With the hipsters now returned to their milieu, you deserve a pat on the back. Keep alert for future infestations, though, and be thankful you had hipsters instead of hippies, who can lower property values and are more or less impossible to get rid of.
Published 21 April 2006
My friend and former co-worker Cecilia posted this on Myspace comment board:
I am so happy! Those little fuckers thought they could waste away senior year...
"The problem, as laid out in a series of federal reports and statements by politicians and educators alike in recent years, is clear: Too many high school students are frittering away their senior years, creating what the Secretary of Education’s Commission on the Future of Higher Education, in its report last month, called a “vast wasteland” at a point that young people should be gearing up for college.
The solution is far less clear. But the University of Washington is trying to combat the problem in its little corner of the world, adopting a policy this year in which it is reviewing the senior year transcripts of all applicants and systematically withdrawing the acceptances of those who seriously flopped or fooled around.
Twenty-three students who had what university officials call “extreme” downturns received letters this summer that said: “After reviewing your final high school transcript through spring term 2006, I am sorry to inform you that your University of Washington Seattle offer of admission for autumn quarter 2006 has been withdrawn.... I regret that we had to take this action and hope you will find an educational alternative that meets your needs.”
Taken from Inside Higher Education
There is a LOT of inertia built into the public education system. Instructors teach how they were taught, and any reforms take at least a decade to propagate into the school system. Any policy changes in school administration or legislature would take even longer. These changes usually originate at the university level, and this is no different. I hope that other institutions will follow suit.
UPDATE! Full article and link provided in the more section!
(more)Last Friday the 10th Doctor was introduced to us Americans when the Sci-Fi channel aired the second season of the new Doctor Who. It must be my British heritage showing through, but I think the 10th Doctor, played by David Tennant, is damn good looking.
Yes, yes I know what you Americans are going to say. "WTF are you thinking? He's hideous!" But you are all backward uncultured barbarian Americans who don't even use the metric system, so your opinions mean squat! Don't you even think of telling me that the British still use some aspects of the Imperial system. Such travesties are not overlooked and their crimes against humanity will not be ignored!
One thing I love is when the arts make political statement. Take this little gem from the episode Christmas Invasion (Humanity gets the first hard proof of aliens and they seem to want to invade):